For our Baby

These are very hard for me to share.. the pain in them still very recent.. but in order to ramble and bare my soul these must be included. the last week of October 1997 we discovered we were to have another child. we were thrilled.. then on November 12 i began to bleed. we took the blood tests and confirmed miscarraige but that was not the end. on November 19 the baby we so hoped for was torn savagely from me.. almost taking my life. turned out to be a etopic pregnacy.. i lost my fillopian tube because it burst and almost bleed to death. but i am here.. i live and i still feel the pain of my baby's death. we are trying again.. but none can replace the one we lost.. she still very much lives in my heart.

 

Little one so deep inside..
Just barely starting out..
Everyday reminded me
what love is all about..

I never got to see you
God took you way to soon
I know He had a reason..
Yet im left with empty womb..

I have to trust Him
I know your in his care
even Janelle is with you
to watch till I get there..

Im over feeling anger
but sadness lingers on
you were torn from me
when its here you belong

I ask for peace not understanding
Ill to my faith be true
Dear God please watch my baby..
I know she's safe with you.

tis amazing how one so small
can still cause so much pain
the physical has healed
yet I am hurting all the same..

I should have be able to keep her..
protect the life of one so small
but what I fought so hard for
wasn't what I got at all..

she was savagely torn from me..
and with her I almost died..
tho I am live and kicking
I still feel empty inside..

they say the pain will ease..
but I think not anytime soon
im sure she is happier now..
but I am stuck with empty womb..

we can try and have another..
but her memory will not flee..
I shall keep her close in my heart..
and she'll always be with me.

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