A Brush with Tortured Madness

*curls up tightly in the corner.. waiting.. watching.. desparate for relief..shivering and crying out her pain..hating herself.. loving HER.. hating herself for whats shes done.. again.. she rocks and hides herself in the deepest corner of her despair..

she screams her pain.. the cry echoing thru the hall.. sinking in to the deepest darkest despair.. wanting desparately to take HER place.. willing to give anything to not have HER feel this pain.. hating HIM.. her arms and hands stained with HER blood.. she desparately scrubs at them unable to see the evidence of HER pain.. hating HIM for doing this to HER.. growling low.. she loses herself in her hatred of HIM.. trying to make sense of what he did to HER..mumbling in long rambling sentences as she trys to rid her arms of HER blood..

icantfindHERicantfindHER youBastardbringHERbacktomeletmesaveHER letmetakeHER placeideservethispain SHEdoesnotletHERbewithHERfamily takemeideservetodie

she rocks and cries not making sense.. speaking in low gutteral growls rockingrockingrocking.. she scrubs her arms again again again.. rocking.. crying out as she rubs the skin.. it red and peeling under her hands.. needing to understand.. wanting HER hating HIM hating HIM bring HER back you BASTARD..

*shudders... looking up thru matted hair.. still scrubbingscrubbing.. sees mayhem and fights to recognize her.. trembling in the depths of her despair..her pain.. whispers..* imfineimfineimfine.. *never ceasing her rocking movements her cries for HER

mayhem> *moves gently to Lessa and holds her, whispering shushing sounds* But sweetie ... I saw Ely a day or so past ... what has happened?

*fights against the hands that hold her.. feeling them pull her into the abyss of her dispair.. scrubbingscrubbingscrubbing moaning deeply* it wont come off i wont come off it wontitwontitwont imfineimfineimfine (insert ooc explination here)

m>*nods* then I will leave you to rail at the walls and cruel fate ... continuing my patrols.

*she wails and cries her pain to the empty halls.. scrubbingscrubbing.. fighting her despair.. her eyes dark and empty.. seeing only the crimson of HIS and the deep blue of HERS needingneeding wantingscrubbing*

how could you take HER you know SHE hates YOU YOU Bastard YOU Bastard bring HER back we need HER i need HER how could YOU* her words fade into screams of pure rage.. spilling and coloring the halls before her in crimson blood she shrieks and scrubs her arms againagainagain*

she turns and rubs her arms against the cold stone of the walls.. her eyes clouded and seeing only HER blood covering her arms HIS influence driving her deeper and deeper

moans.. nonononnoonoonoonono she folds herself into the sinking madness.. her anger and pain all consuming.. her blood mingling with what she sees on her arms.. hating herself for her part in HER pain... knowing SHE will never forgive her for taking HER chylde.. knowing she had no choice rockingrocking hating HIM sinking deeperdeeper

*growls and gazes around the room with her crazed eyes.. desparate for escape from the crimson flow over her.. she covers her face and again sees the blood..*

nononononononono.. *screams in rage and pain* YOU ill kill YOU if i can howdareYOU howdareYOUhowdareYOUhowdareYOU scrubbingscrubbingscrubbing she screams and rocks scraping her arms despatate.. sinking into her mad flailing mind.. wanting needing hating

she closes her eyes and sinks to a ball.. seing it again and again in her mind..the writhing of HER womb.. blakened with the deamonchyld.. the writheing wriggling mess that was the female seed of HIM.. HER face as SHE twists and moans in HIS despair.. overoveroverover

*she screams in pain.. rage.. hatred..*

hears a voice from beyond her tortured reach rocking nonononononono YOUBastardbringHERback let Her go.. scrubbingscrubbingscrubbing

*she cries and moans and screams.. lost in her madness.. falling to the floor exausted..

Darlantan>*walks over and kneels down over the huddled form, and in a tender voice* It's gonna be alright just hang in there..*produces a wash cloth in the hopes of cleaning her up*

*reaches and moans softly trying to grab hold of the tender voice.. needing whispers in panic tones* get it offgetitoff i cant it wont wash pleaseplease i cant help HER i need HER please..

shakesherhead* nononononnonono*scrubs her arms.. searching for relief..moaning HE has HER i need HER i cant get HER SHE hates me for what ive done.. HER blood the blood *moans desparately*

Darlantan>*begins to wash her gently manageing to clean her up fairly well, All the time reassuring her in tender tones* It's Ok I'm here.... Be silent I will help u......Hush quiet while i help ! I can help u !!

*moans her eyes closed.. the washcloth cool on her fever'd skin.. trying to calm.. searching for her strength.. finding none.. rockinrockingrocking..

whispers* get it off please get it off.. please help me help me help me.. help HER..why cant i help HER...

Darlantan>*cleans her up some more and then goes to find help

*groans.. cling to the last of her sanity..* nononononononono *curls up tightly in herself.. clinging to the last time she saw HER smile.. before the blood that covers her in crimson rivers.. before the shadows of HIM before she had to take HER chylde.. groaning as the shadows twist within her mind..painful whispers.. tears searing there hot way down her cheeks..

nononononononono.. bring HER back bring HER back.. help mehelpmehelpme.. *she struggles for handholds to pull herself out of the madness.. her body acheing with fatigue.. needing HER.. hating HIM.. alone in her fear.. her anguish.. pain oh goddess the pain.. the flowtheflow stop the crimson from HIS eyes the shadows licking teasing drawing unwanted gasps from her.. HIS touching.. taking HER.. shakes her head trying to rid herself of these neverending terrors..

her soul cries out in heartrending anguish.. shuddering thru her..low moans echoing thru the halls.. she sees HER as she was before HIM with HER family..loving tender before.. clings to this images as the flow thru her.. needing them.. needing HER.. trembling .. seeing HER smile.. seeing HER love.. feels HER near..winding HER way into her tortured heart again.. moaning and rocking.. the crimson slowly fading from her eyes.. clinging.. desparate moaning.. fighting to return.. fighting to find her forgotten strength..

*the images of HIM are replaced..slowly flowing into malcolm..the twins.. little sara and stephen.. holding them playing.. sees HER with them Smiling.. Happy..she crawls to them bowing at HER feet.. pleading for HER forgiveness.. for the love she once knew.. sees HER smile.. and clings to the image.. groaning as she is forced back thru her tortured mind.. her shattered soul crying out for release.. she trembles and opens her eyes.. seeing the empty hall.. her arms devoid of the blood seen before.. tho raw and red from the strength of her washing.. shivering she stumbles to her feet.. to finish what she set out to do.. to help HER no matter what the cost... she stumbles out of the hall.. her face deeply lined with pain and fatigue.. determined to do what must be done.. return HER to HER place..